Don’t retaliate. (Joining in the child’s anger will wind them up even more. It will also teach them poor ways of resolving conflict.)

Model the behavior you want a child to learn. If you hit, they learn to hit. If you get out of control, they may learn to fear their own anger – or everyone else’s anger.

Let them know you understand how they are feeling. "I can see how angry you are," or "It seems like you are really mad about that."

Leave explaining another view point until the anger has been expressed and acknowledged.

Ask what they would like to do to improve things.

Acknowledge what they say. Reaffirm the feelings and then help them look at the options, e.g. "What might happen if you did that?"