Sinking into a too hot bath

Willing the water, draw away

That pain.

Nerves exposed and ragged

Every sense acute

Too aware of self

In my bath.

Massaging fragrant oil in my hair,

In silence, beseeching robot fingers

Tweeze the brittle shards

Of grief,

Remove a small portion of

That pain,

In my bath.

Lying back, assessing the damage

Uncaring eyes on the abandoned shell

That was me.

Mother, counselor, adored one, 

Now empty except for

That pain.

In my bath.

Bathing, now hidden temptress

Beckons, just sink with deep breaths

Snip fragile threads

That connect to

that pain

In my bath.

Escaping, unknowing, unfeeling

To travel the easier path

Quietly bequeathing the others

That pain

Compounded by life’s last decision

In my bath.

Rising, heavy step to the cold tile

Dull knowledge, I will not escape

For lack of the right mix of courage

And cowardice.

Perhaps tomorrow I’ll find it, release from

That pain

In my bath.